What If
by RenesmeeCarlie14
Summary: What if Bella had a repeat of that night in Port Angeles, but Edward didnt get there in time? first fanfic. R and R please ; rated m for LEMONS and language.disclaimer i own nothing
1. Prolouge

Prolouge

"Ugh!" I exclaimed, slamming my front door. Edward could be such a jackass sometimes. I love him but he just doesn't understand.

"Bella, come back inside, we should talk about this" Edward said.

"Talk?, _now_ you want to talk? Well you know what I have nothing to say and listening to you right is only making me angrier!"

And with that, I hop in my truck and drive off. I have no idea where I'm going, I just can't argue about this same shit with Edward anymore. We seem to be arguing more often lately, and it's really beginning to grate on my patience.

All I want to do is discuss _maybe_ going to see Jacob. Do you think he wanted to talk about it then? NO! It's like I have no say so _whatsoever._

I want to come to an agreement. I want things between Edward and I to change. But luck isn't on my side. Something has to give. Something drastic may have to be done to make him see. But..._what?_

And why do I feel like that _something_ is going to be very, very bad?


	2. How Did This Happen?

2. How Did This Happen?

BPOV

As I drove, I couldn't help but let my mind wander. Before I knew it, I had driven all the way to Port Angeles. After deciding to park and take a walk, I found myself getting an eerie sense of deja vu. Why? Because I was alone in Port Angeles, at night, and didn't really know where I was going. All that was missing wa-

"Hey, sugar, what are you doing out her all by yourself?",a slurred voice asked me. I turned to see five guys headed towards me.

Okay, _now _I realize why this all felt so familiar.

Quickly deciding to just walk away, I continue down the sidewalk, realizing my mistake a bit too late. As I contemplate what to do next, a hand suddenly grabs my shoulder, and spins me around. Faster than I can blink the guy backhands me.

"I was talking to you! I don't like to be ignored, sugar.", that same slurred voice said, an annoyed expression on his face. My cheek burns and I notice that the last time this happened, it didn't get this far.

"C'mon Josh", another guy says, "We're waiting for our turn, too."

Josh waves him off whilst openly appraising me in a manner that made me cringe and take a step back. Apparently, that was the wrong thing to do. Josh suddenly tightens his grip, and clamps his hand over my mouth. Once I feel myself being dragged, I finally come out of my stupor and try to wiggle out of Josh's grasp. I try in vain to ignore the voice in my head saying, _Oh sure, _now _you fight._

But fight as I may, it's no use. Josh soon throws me up against an alley wall, and he and his friends most _definitely_ get their turns. Backhands, punches and slaps included when I tried to fight. So, I stopped doing just that.

I had realized very early on that Edward nor anyone else was coming to save me this time.

_Edward._

EPOV

Ugh! Will this never end? I just couldn't understand. Why is Bella's obsession with that_ dog_ so strong? It seems that no matter what conversation we have the subject just comes up. Doesn't she understand? I just have to keep her safe. I need to. But she doesn't make that any easier by constantly wanting to go down to that damn reservation to see Jacob. Ugh! I just don't get it.

Since it is very obvious that Bella doesn't want to see me, and Alice will warn me if she decides to head for La Push after all, I decide to go for a run and a quick hunt before she gets back to clear my head.

Throughout that time though, I get a constant bad feeling in the pit of my stomach. Before I can determine what that means, my cellphone rings

I answer it, and immediately, I am bombarded with sobbing.

"Edward I am so sorry. For some reason, I didn't see it until it was too late! I-

"Slow down Alice, what didn't you see?", I ask my sister, though I am sure that I do not want an answer.

As Alice explains her vision, a barrage of emotions run through me. Rage... fear...worry...and as always...a staggering amount of guilt.

When I've heard enough, I interrupt Alice and her frantic rambling.

"Alice just tell me where she is".

Sniffling, then, "P-Port Angeles. Carlisle, Rose, and Esme are already on their way the-

I didn't have time for that; of course I knew my family wouldn't just sit around and not help me. But all I knew was that I needed to get to her myself. Sprinting through the forest, I try fruitlessly to think as hard as I can, _I'm coming love, just hold on,_ in hope that she will hear me and know that I am on my way.

Aside from that, only one other thought dominates my mind.

_How did this happen? More importantly...how did I let it?_

_Bella_

A/N I hope you guys are enjoying the story so far, those of you who are reading. This story plot has been on mind for a while, so I hope it comes together right.

Lemme know what you guys think though. Review Plz.

RenesmeeCarlie :D


	3. Everything Will Be Okay

Will Be Okay.

BPOV

_Beep...Beep...Beep_

Excruciating pain...

That is all I feel as I wake up to that incessant beeping. I struggled to open my eyes. Once I did, however, I immediately wish I hadn't, as I take in my surroundings. I am at once put on edge. Not because I am laying in a hospital bed. Not even because I suddenly realize why that is. No, I am so tense because not far from my bed sits Edward. Looking beautiful yet dejected as he sits with his head hung low. I know that he must realize I am awake so...why isn't he saying anything? Or even looking at me? Could it be that he knows what has happened and is _angry_ with me? Or worse...disgusted?

_Oh no, please no._

"Edward?", I all tentatively.

His head snaps up, and instantly I see the guilt and fear that is apparent in his beautiful eyes.

"Bella, how do you feel, love?", he inquired in a strained, yet soft voice. For some reason I my eyes began to tear up. I feel so many conflicting emotions. From guilt, misery, to even anger.

"Oh, Edward," I try to say through my tears, "I am so sorry. I never should have left the way I did. I was just so angry with you and the situation. I am so stu-

"Bella, Bella wait, hold on. You can't possibly blame yourself for what those vile creatures did to you," he said, while gently wiping my tears.

I shake my head. "But if I had never gone out there by myself, it all could have been avoided. I should have just stayed home and out of trouble. Now look at me. I am so broken and damaged... I would understand if you thought the same and decided that I'm not worth it anym-

"Don't you _ever _say that! Do you hear me? I would never even dream of thinking something like that. And I don't want to hear you doing the same either. Bella, you are not broken, merely bruised...both physically and emotionally, I'm sure .And you're certainly not damaged. You are still perfect to me, love. I love you Bella. Please remember that always. Besides, I am the one that should be apologizing. I should have never let you walk away from me. I should have went after you. But I didn't, and this is what happened to you. You are not to blame, and neither is Alice for not seeing it in time. I blame myself, and so should you."

And with the end of that speech his head is once again hung. I lie there speechless. I honestly don't know what to say. I can't believe he blames himself. I don't see how he could possibly...

EPOV

"Oh, Edward.."

Well, that wasn't the yelling and accusations that I was expecting. I look up to see and expression of intense sadness on Bella's face.

"What is it, love?"

"Edward, you can't put this on yourself. You just can't. I won't let you. I just realized that we both feel somewhat to blame for what happened to me. But what if...what if it's not either of our faults. I mean, it's not like either of us planned this, or wanted it to happen. With that said, neither of us will shoulder this. It's not fair that we take any responsibility for what _they_ did. It really isn't. So..please. Let go of the guilt and blame that you seem to hold for this, and everything else that goes wrong. If you don't...it will not turn out well for either of us. I know it won't."

I am at a loss for words. I can't believe that my Bella can say that, and sound so sure of herself. It makes me think. What if she's right? Can I really do what she has asked of me?

As I look into her eyes, her beautiful brown eyes, I then conclude that yes, she is right and, yes, I can do what she has requested of me. It won't be easy, but I will try my hardest. She deserves that and so much more from me.

"Well, Bella I see that you are very sure of what you are saying. I've decided that you are right. And that I really need to let it go. There is nothing that can be done. Even with the assurance that those bastards won't get away with what they've done, I still can't shake the guilt knowing that something _could have_ been done. However for both our sakes I'll try to move on. This isn't something that I will dwell on, or put too much thought into as far as blaming myself goes. Is that okay?"

Her answering smile is dazzling.

"Oh, Edward, that is more than okay. it makes me so happy to know that we both can move on from this. You may have to be patient with me though. Even though it is clear to even me that I won't be like most rape victims(I flinched)I still feel like damaged goods. I know _you_ don't see it but I do. I know that I will need time to shake the feeling. But until I do I just need for you to _be there_. Is _that_ okay?"

I answer her by gently kissing her.

It's not just okay, it is perfect. I absolutely love how strong my Bella is to know that she'll be fine. She admits to needing just two things. Me and time. Time and me. I can give that to her. I _will_ give that to her.

And she'll be okay.

We'll _both _be okay.

BPOV

It's been three days since I woke up in the hospital. Three days since Edward and I had our little talk. And three days since _it_ happened.

I've been healing fairly well according to the doctors. I should be able to go home in another day or two. I along with my loving family are very excited about that fact.

Speaking of said family, there isn't a day that goes by that they haven't visited me. They have found time to bring gifts and keep me company. Even Carlisle and Esme. And of course Charlie. Everyone has just been so supportive and loving, that I feel better just knowing that.

We all sat down with my dad and somehow convinced him to let me stay with the Cullens for a while. It makes since because I am still very bruised and need help with some things. It's not anything like when my leg was broken, but having Carlisle so close, along with the rest of the Cullens, is more assuring than being at Charlie's where I'll be alone most of the time to fend for myself. So, with my living arrangements settled, I just need to be discharged. I can't wait because on my road to emotional recovery, I want to be in a comfortable, familiar setting and not a creepy hospital. And what's more comforting than living with a houseful of vegetarian vampires?

EBEBEBEBEB

A couple of hours later Carlisle stops by before finishing his shift and heading home.

"Hey Bella, how do you feel?", he asks, while looking at me with an expression of fatherly love.

"Hey Carlisle, I feel just fine thanks. You heading home?"

"Yeah, just finished my shift. Do you need anything before I go, dear?"

"No thank you, Carlisle. I'm sure I will be just fine."

"Well, good. Feel better darling. Oh! I almost forgot. Edward is on his way, and should be here any minute. He wants to spend some time with you before visiting hours come to a close."

I smile brightly at the thought of seeing Edward.

Carlisle chuckles "Well, I guess his presence will be very much welcomed".

"Yep", I replied, popping the 'p'.

With another chuckle and a 'goodnight' Carlisle leaves, closing the door behind him.

As I wait for Edward to arrive I ponder on just how much Edward has done for me. I am so in love with him and can't wait to get out of this hospital to continue my life with him normally. With a deep sigh, I lay there and get lost in my memories of us. It is a sea of bliss that I would gladly drown in.

And drown I do as I suddenly drift into an Edward-filled sleep.

EPOV

I arrive at the hospital eager to see Bella, if only for an hour. I arrive at her room door, and enter the hospital room, only to find my angel fast asleep, looking especially adorable.

I had hoped to speak with her for a while, but watching her sleep is a nice substitute. I take a seat on the chair placed beside her bed, and scoot it as close as possible. Taking hold of her hand, I smile as I hear her sigh in her sleep. I just love the affect that I have on my Bella. It just reiterates my proof that she is mine. And that I'm the one that does that to her. I am so relieved that her reactions to me have not dwindled in the slightest, considering what those scum-of- the- earth creatures did to her. I tamp down the all-too-familiar rush of rage that I fills my being when I think about those bastards. I haven't forgotten my promise to Bella of letting go, I just have a hard time with it. Even with the knowledge that those guys are behind bars. I could still tear them apart limb by limb, given the chance.

Oh, I could just- _Stop, stop_.

I did not come here for this. I came here tonight to spend time with my precious girl. I take a deep breath, and let the sounds of Bella's steady breathing and strong heartbeat calm me.

Before I know it, my hour is up. Bella did not stir once, but seemed to be having a fitful sleep. Good. With one last kiss to her fore head I whisper a 'sweet dreams, angel', before walking out the door.

The next day will bring plenty of activity, including Bella's discharge. I can't wait. I'll be able to kiss and hold her properly. Not to mention being able to wait on her hand and foot 24/7. Bella may not be too thrilled with all of that but oh well.

I chuckle to myself as I drive away from my love for the last time.

EBEBEBEBEB

A/N Well guys, there you have it. Sorry for taking a while, but with the holidays coming up... well I'm sure you understand. I don't know how much I'll update during the holiday break but you'll definitely hear from me before it's over.

P.S. Reviews are _almost_ as great as Edward-filled sea dreams.

RenesmeeCarlie :D


	4. Moving Forward

Forward.

BPOV

I woke up with what had to be the biggest smile in history. I get to go home today! There aren't words to describe how excited I am. I am well aware that things may not be very easy for me in the beginning. But with the help of my loving family, I know I'll be fine.

Speaking of said family...

"Hey, Bella!", Alice exclaimed, smiling brightly as she bounced over to hug me.

"Hey, Alice!" I replied as the rest of my family filed into the room. It felt so great to see them all together like this.

As everyone smiled and greeted me, I couldn't help but search for one particular person. I grinned widely when I finally found him.

Edward.

"Hi", I said softly as he came forward to embrace me.

"Hi yourself, love", he replied with a chuckle, "Are you ready to go home today?"

What kind of question was _that_?

"Of course , Edward, I can't wait to be free of this place."

That caused chuckles to sound out.

"Well, then, let's get moving", Edward said with a grin.

So, after what felt like forever and five days, I was finally released from the hospital, and on my way home.

EBEBEBEBEB

EPOV

I couldn't wipe the mile-wide grin off my face if I wanted to.

My angel was finally home; she was safe, sound, and settled as she sat with Esme, Rose, and Alice, discussing wedding details. She practically glowed as she laughed and joked whole-heartedly for the first time in what felt like forever and ten days.

Yet, I could still feel like there was something that she was hiding from me. I mean, ever since she had come home from the hospital, she had been all smiles. I just couldn't shake the feeling that she was a bit withdrawn. I could understand that considering her horrifying experience that night. It's just...why did she have to try to hide her fears. Her behavior may not be what other rape victims would call the 'norm', but I knew that she was still hurting. I could feel it.

Oh well, there's nothing that I can do but be there with her every step of the way.

"Edward are you okay?" my sweet angel asked, pulling me out of my musings.

"Yes, love, I'm fine, just thinking." I replied with a smile.

She stared at me for a moment before speaking.

"Do you think we could maybe visit our meadow today? I really miss it. I've been meaning to mention it for a couple of days, but... " she trailed off quietly.

What was really going on with my angel?

"Sure, love, anything you want." I replied with what I hoped to be a reassuring smile.

I was so elated when she returned it. I really hoped that whatever was wrong, whatever shadow was surrounding my Bella's light would be somewhat resolved during our trip to our meadow.

EBEBEBEBEB

BPOV

I had suspected that some was wrong with Edward days ago. He seemed bothered by something, and I couldn't for the life of me figure out what. Not to mention that I noticed that it seemed to have to do with me. And that worried me.

I know that Edward said that I wasn't damaged goods, but was that just then? What about now? Was he finally angry with me about what happened? All of these questions plagued my mind. All of them haunted me.

Yet, if those things were true...why did he try to hide it? Why couldn't he just come out and tell me how he felt? More questions that I wanted answers to, but didn't seem to be getting any closer to getting the answers to.

Needless to say, I was very much scared and frustrated, not to mention a bit scarred from getting raped just a few weeks back. I was a mess. So, I've tried to focus on less depressing things...like my impending wedding. It was a nice distraction, and gave me something to do with all of my spare time. We both could use distractions right about now, it seemed. Which is what brought my suggestion to Edward about getting out and going to our meadow to mind. I hoped that we could talk and try to get some things out in the open from both sides. Other than that I just missed him and wanted him to hold me.

Things have been so weird that I almost feel like we're not on the same level anymore. I mean, we haven't spoken much, and we live in the same house for goodness sakes! I just feel like we need to sit down and just talk. It could be about anything at all. I wouldn't care as long as it was something.

This trip to the meadow was my golden opportunity to do just that. And I wasn't about to let it pass me by, not for anything.

EBEBEBEBEB

EPOV

Bella was unnaturally quiet on the drive to the meadow.

She looked nervous yet determined as we got closer and closer to our destination. Her expression made me all the more hopeful that whatever wall that was separating us would crumble soon. In the meantime, I could not stand this awkward silence any longer.

"Bella, love..." . Damn, I couldn't even think of a decent conversation starter.

"Yes, what is it?" she asked.

"Nothing, pretty girl" I replied with a weak smile. I was grateful to see that she seemed content to let it drop...for now.

EBEBEBEBEB

When we arrived at the meadow, I could tell we were both a bit anxious about what might happen. I figured that we might as well start talking about our issues now to try to get past it...hopefully. So, with a sigh, I led Bella to the middle of the meadow, and we sat facing each other, with both of us sitting Indian-style. I watched Bella take a deep breath.

_Here we go._

"So...I think we need to talk about a few things," she began tentatively.

"Yeah, I think you're right. So, where do we begin?" I asked.

Another deep breath.

"Well, I just really wanted to talk about how things have been since I was discharged from the hospital. I mean I just feel like things are off between us, and I can't help but think that I'm to blame, and that you're angry with me bec-

And that's where I had to stop her.

"Wait, wait, hold on a second. Bella why would I have a reason to be angry with you? Nothing that happened was your fault. I thought we had that understanding at the hospital. But I guess not." I sighed. I think I was finally beginning to understand. But I needed to hear it from her.

I turned my attention back to Bella only to see her with her head hung low. I slowly reached out with my finger to lift her chin to make her look me in the eyes. The expression of sadness on her face broke my heart. We _really_ needed to talk.

"Love, won't you tell me what is wrong? I feel as if you have been hiding from me. You seem so happy , but I can't let go of the idea that you are having harder time than you have been letting on. Now, of course you don't have to tell me, but I want you to know that I worry...and that I'm always here. I know that these last few weeks could not have been easy for you, and that you may just want to avoid everything. But if you ever feel like it's too much, too painful, or you just want me to hold you and reassure you, then never hesitate to come to me. I just want you to be safe and happy."

After my little rant I was expecting a lot of things. What I wasn't expecting though was for her to tackle me in a fierce hug. As we sat, with her straddling my hips, and our arms wrapped around each other, she began to speak.

"Thank you so much Edward. I was so scared that you had changed your mind about me. I know now that it was silly to have those thoughts, but the fear of you not wanting me anymore has been eating me alive for days now. I'm sorry for worrying you, I was just afraid."

I squeezed my arm around her even tighter. She _had_ been having a hard time. Just not concerning the situation that I had thought. Still...there was one last thing.

"Love, you don't have to be sorry about anything. I understand. And let me tell you something. It will be a cold day in hell before the day comes when I don't want you. Understand? Baby, I love you. Nothing can change that. Okay?

"Okay," she said while nodding.

All of a sudden, a wide smile graced her beautiful face.

"What is it?" I asked.

"You called me 'Baby', that's all." She said, blushing.

"Oh, I guess I did. Do you not like it?"

"Quite the opposite, actually," she replied, quietly.

_Well, that's interesting to know. I'll definitely keep that in mind._

"Well, good, I'm glad you like it. And I'm glad that we finally have some things out in the open. But remember what I said, I'm here, and I love you."

Bella, again, surprised me by wrapping her arms and legs around me tighter, and pulling me closer for a slow, deep kiss. I could tell that she was feeling uplifted after our talk. And so was I. I knew that we had a bit more work to do when it came to her insecurities, but we'll take it one step at a time if she needs it. If she wanted to not go so slow that would be fine too. I just know that it will _always_ be what she needs.

EBEBEBEBEB

BPOV

I couldn't believe that I had been worried for nothing. I mean, don't get me wrong, I still have a ways to go, but I know that I'll be fine with my Edward at my side.

It wouldn't be entirely easy, but with the help of my soon-to-be husband , and our family, I know that I will be able to move on.

With their help, and my will, I will truly be able to move forward.

A/N I am sooooo sorry that I have taken so long. It's just that I really didn't have the time, plus I had serious writers block. But I'm back, and will try to update as soon as possible. R and R.

RenesmeeCarlie


	5. The Dream and The Confrontation

5. The Dream and The Confrontation.

BPOV

_It was eerie, dark. I couldn't hear or see anything at all. I felt cold, alone, and so very scared. My heart was pounding, my heart was racing, and the worst part was…..I had no idea why. I took a deep breath, and began to try to feel my way around… wherever I was. I walked around blindly for what felt like forever, when suddenly, I felt two arms grab me from behind. I opened my mouth to scream, but a hand came up to clamp over my mouth before I could. _

"_Thought you could get away from me, bitch? I had you before and I can have you again. Besides, little whores like you are all the same, acting like you don't want me, oh but you all know it's quite the opposite," he chuckled, "I always make sure of that."_

_My eyes widened and I began to struggle in earnest. The only thought going through my mind was,__** no, not again!**__ I fought against him as hard as I could, but I wasn't strong enough. He threw me on the ground and pinned me. All I could do was scream, as he…he…._

" Bella, baby wake up. Please wake up!"

My eyes shot open and I quickly realized where I was and relaxed. I buried my head in Edward's chest as my body shook with relief. I took a cleansing breath and looked up into Edward's concerned

"Hi," I said quietly.

"Are you okay, love? " he asked his eyes almost black with worry.

I put my hand to his cheek, trying to soothe his fear.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said with a sigh, " Just a really bad dream, that's all."

"Yes, well, I got that part," he said with a chuckle, "Your screaming cleared that one up."

I smiled, happy that he wasn't too upset.

"But, in all seriousness, did you want to talk about it, baby?" he asked tentatively.

I sighed. "Not really but I guess I should, huh?"

"Only if you want to, angel" he replied, smiling.

I then proceeded to tell him all about how terrifying and real the dream was.

Not to mention my fear of being a victim again. When I finished, I could tell Edward was suppressing feelings of both anger, and worry.

"Damn them, If only I could-"

"Edward, baby, please it's okay. It was just a dream. I know they can't hurt me anymore so I don't worry about them, and neither should you. Understand?"

"Your right love, I'm sorry…. so, do you think you feel well enough for breakfast?"

At that moment my stomach sounded like an angry grizzly. Well…

" I guess that answers that," we said simultaneously, while laughing.

We went downstairs to the kitchen, only to find that no one was home.

"Everyone went out on a hunting trip for the weekend. They left this morning."

"You didn't want to go?" I questioned.

" I went while you were sleeping, and told them to go without me."

"Edward," I started.

"Baby, you should know me well enough to know that the last thing I'm going to do is leave you alone right now," He said, as he began to prepare breakfast for me.

"I guess. But you should know me well enough to know that I won't let you starve yourself just so you won't have to leave me alone."

Edward just sighed and continued to make breakfast.

EBEBEBEBEB

"Hey, Edward?" I asked.

"Yes, love?"

"Do you think we could go visit Charlie today? I feel like I haven't seen him in a long time, and I want to check up on him. Who knows what that man has been eating with me not there," I finished with a light laugh.

"Sure sweet girl, why don't you go get dressed and we'll head over right now," he said with a smile.

"Great, just give me a few minutes."

Almost a half hour later, we were close to Charlie's house, when all of a sudden, Edward tensed and his hands tightened on the steering wheel.

"Edward what's the matter?"

"Jacob," he almost snarled.

I sighed. Great. Now a visit with my dad may turn out to be a job to try to keep those two from starting another huge argument.

"Edward, listen I don't want to see Jacob any more than you do, but I'm here to see my dad, and I won't let him chase me from my own house. I refuse to let him bother me. Now promise me you'll do the same and relax. Please?"

Edward closed his eyes, pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath.

"I know, I know. I promise I'll behave, but if he even thinks about upsetting you in the slightest way…"

I smiled. "I know, I know," I said echoing him.

We finally pulled up at the house, and we both braced ourselves before getting out of the Volvo.

When we got to the door it opened to reveal my dad with a huge grin on his face.

"Hi, dad." I said.

"Hey, Bells. Edward. You guys come on in." Charlie said, while stepping aside to let us in the house.

We followed him into the living room to see Jacob and Billy sitting down watching tv. They looked up when we walked in and I noticed Jacob staring at me. I pretended not to notice.

"Um, hey guys." I greeted awkwardly, as Edward and I took a seat on the couch.

"Hi, Bella… Edward." Billy said.

Jacob just continued to stare.

Thankfully, Charlie chose that moment to intervene on this 'thrilling' conversation.

"So…..What brings you guys over today?" Charlie asked.

"Well, we wanted to get out of the house and I felt like I hadn't seen you in ages. So, here we are. What have you been up to Dad?"

We ended up staying for almost an hour before we were ready to leave. Jacob and Billy hadn't left yet either and I was relieved that it seemed like Edward would be able to leave unscathed.

"Hey, Bella can I talk to you for a sec?"

Oooh…so close.

"Um, actually Jacob, we really need to get going. I, uh, promised Alice that I would-"

"It'll only be for a minute," he interjected.

I sighed and looked to Edward for help.

"Only if you want to love, I can wait a minute or so." Edward said calmly.

I actually _didn't _want to. But who knows, this conversation may not turn out as bad as I was anticipating.

"Okay let's go on the deck." I said reluctantly.

Jacob followed me outside and for a second we just stood there until I finally decided to break the uncomfortable silence that surrounded us.

"So, Jacob, what did you want to talk to me about?"

"Is it true?" He asked while staring at me intently.

I had a pretty good idea what he was talking about, but I decided to play dumb.

"Is what true, Jacob?"

"Don't play dumb Bella," _Damn_, "You know what I'm talking about. Did you really get ra-

"Look Jacob it's not something I want to discuss with anyone, let alone you. So if that's all you wanted to talk about, then I guess I'll be going now."

I started to walk around him to go back into the house, when I felt him grab my arm. I took a deep breath and slowly turned to face him.

"Can you please let my arm go?"

"What do you mean 'let alone you'? Since when can you not talk to me? I bet you'll tell that bloodsucker anything. Oh, but you can't answer a simple question from me?"

I was seeing red. " How_ dare _you get angry with me for not telling you my personal business? And of _course_ I'll tell Edward everything. He's my _fucking fiancée_!I would never tell _you_ a damn thing because _it's none of your damn business_! As for you other question, I stopped being able talk to you when you started doing all of that underhanded, childish shit like get me in trouble with Charlie so I wouldn't have as much time with Edward as I wanted. Not to mention the fact that no matter how hard I try to apologize and make up for the things I did that hurt you, you seem completely okay with hating me for that _and _things aren't my fault. Okay, I'm sorry you got hurt because of me. I'm sorry that I can never give you what you want from me. I really am. But what I'm not sorry for is marrying the love of my life, or being happy with him forever. And maybe you need to take a step back and see that you are partially at fault for some of the pain you're experiencing, and figure out a way to move on and be happy with _your_ life. I want you to be happy Jacob, but if you want to continue to be a bitter, immature, volatile little _puppy_, then you go right ahead. Just don't expect me to show you any sympathy for destroying yourself." And with that I turned and stormed back into the house.

When I got back to the door, I saw three faces staring at me in complete shock. One of which also held a look of immense pride. Can you guess who?

"C'mon Edward, we're leaving."

It took him a second to respond.

"Uh, sure love let's go," he said distractedly.

I turned around to give my dad a hug goodbye, and throw an apologetic look Billy's way. I was sure he wasn't very pleased with me for what had just happened. But to my surprise, he just gave me a small smile, and nodded sympathetically.

Hmm. Interesting.

When Edward and I got to the car, Edward was about to open my door for me when we heard the front door open again.

"Hey!"

Oh, God.

With a deep breath, I turned to see Jacob striding toward us with an intent look on his face.

Seriously, couldn't he take a hint? A very _obvious_ hint?

"Jacob, what do you want now?" I asked.

"I want to know what the hell is going on here, among other things." He said, finally reaching us.

"Jacob I really don't see how _any_ of this is your concern, as my fiancée very clearly pointed out." Edward interjected.

"I'm pretty sure I wasn't talking to you, leech" Jacob spat.

"Hey! Look, Jacob, you heard what I had to say, and you know exactly where I stand. With that said, I don't know what the hell you feel you're accomplishing by poking your nose where it doesn't belong, but I'm telling you right now. Step. Off. I don't want to see you, speak to you, or even hear your fucking name until you grow up. For fuck's sake Jacob, just leave me alone." I said with finality. Before he could pick his jaw up off the ground long enough to respond-_again-_ I got into the Volvo and watched Edward as he walked around to the driver's side.

We had been driving for a few minutes before Edward finally spoke.

"Love, are you okay?"

I looked at him and smiled warmly. "Yes baby, I'm fine. Let's just go home, okay?"

"Of course." We arrived home not too long afterward, and before we could get to it, the front door swung open to reveal a beaming Alice and Emmett.

"Yeah, little sis. Way to take the trash out." Came Emmett's boisterous greeting.

"Didn't think you had it in you Bella. I'm so proud." Alice said, wiping a fake tear.

I rolled my eyes as Edward and I passed them, heading for the stairs.

When we got to his room, I went straight to the window, staring out into the darkness. It wasn't long until I felt two strong arms wrap around my waist, and give me a gentle squeeze.

"Still doing okay, love?"

"Of course I am sweetheart," I said with what felt like my hundredth sigh of the night. I anchored myself by rubbing Edward's arms as he held me, holding back a yawn.

"Hmm, tired?"

"A little bit."

"Let's get ready for bed then, shall we?" he said while placing the gentlest of kisses along my neck , his hands beginning to wander ever so lightly.

"Yep, let's go."

Minutes later we were cuddled up together in our huge bed, just holding each other as I began to doze off.

"I love you so much Edward," I said, yawning.

"I love you to, baby. Goodnight."

"Mmm. G'night." I was already asleep.

I know. I hate me too. I doubt anyone is still following this story, after such a long ass time. But for those of you not too terribly pissed, review please

RenesmeeCarlie :D


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